Emotional Rollercoaster

As you know, we are getting nearer and nearer to our referral. It's so amazing that we are finally here. I'm not holding my breath that they will be here this week, but I'll probably go a bit nutty if they don't come next week. I'm getting so excited and can't wait to see our baby!

At the other end of the emotion spectrum, I'm very sad to say that A's uncle passed away this morning. He's been fighting cancer and had beaten it, only to have it come back and spread. Aside from the loss of a loved one, there are a couple of things that make this particularly difficult.

First, he was so excited about our adoption. He had been to China for work several years ago and spent an extended amount of time there. He couldn't wait to see us go and to see our baby. I so wanted him to see her. We talked about it whenever we saw him over the past couple of years. I really enjoyed talking to him about China.

The other thing that makes this particularly hard is Phoebe. Last year at Uncle J's 60th birthday party, P just latched on to him like nobody's business. She told everyone "he's my GREAT uncle!" Then she announced that she wanted to sit beside him at dinner. She did sit beside him and talked to him ALL NIGHT! She was so well behaved, even when other kids got bored waiting for food. She was thrilled to be able to sit right next to him and talk and talk.

Last night, we told P that Uncle J was very sick. She asked if he was going to die. When we told her that he might, she started sobbing. She said she wanted to see him again and that she didn't want him going anywhere! She cried again last night when we put her to bed and prayed for Jesus to make him well.

My poor girl. This is her first experience with death. I know she'll come through it. I know she'll probably run and play with her cousins after the funeral. It's just going to be a rollercoaster for her.